7:13 p.m.: Cho was sexually molested by a family friend from age five to 12. “I had a very long-term relationship with this abuser, which is a horrible thing to say. I didn’t even understand it was abuse, because I was too young to know,” she says. “I endured it so many times, especially because I was alone a lot.” At 14, she was raped by another acquaintance. “I was raped continuously through my teenage years, and I didn’t know how to stop it. It was also an era where young girls were being sexualized. For me, I think I had been sexually abused so much in my life that it was hard for me to let go of anger, forgive or understand what happened.”

7:14 p.m.: She looks over at Moraga, who is texting on his cell phone. “I guess we can play that song now,” she says to him. “I hope I can remember the lyrics.”

7:15 p.m.: The song, entitled “I Want to Kill My Rapist,” is from her new album. Cho starts singing: “I want to kill my rapist, I want to kill my rapist,” repeatedly to me while Andy strums an acoustic guitar. The rest of the lyrics elaborate on this theme and are occasionally funny, but it comes from a real and dark place. She continues, “I thought I forgave you, but I’d mistake you. I’ll shake you and I’ll bake you. You better run now while I’m having fun now. Here comes the sun now, and you’ll be done now. I see clearly and sincerely, you’ll pay dearly…”

7:22 p.m.: Cho admits that her abuser is still alive and her family knows about it. She says that sexual molestation is an excusable offense in her traditional Korean family’s eyes, which she thinks is insane. Her family believes that people shouldn’t make a fuss about things that have happened to them in the past. “They don’t really want to talk about it, because that would make it real somehow. I think Asian culture often is in denial about such things. Like, if they don’t talk about it, it doesn’t exist. So it makes me unwelcome in some ways,” she says. “But all I have is ownership of my own suffering. I can take that and explain it in a way that helps resolve it. But I often think, ‘How do I have sanity? How do I bring justice?’ I kind of save myself through it. ”

 

Danielle Bacher , Billboard, 

Posted by Errol, filed under Crime, Culture, K-girls. Date: September 7, 2015, 2:45 am | No Comments »