The smell of desperation in the entertainment industry is more powerful than …?

Consider this tale: it is 2 pm in the south river section of the metropolis. Two young entertainers are sitting in the outer office of a TV producer, who is casting for a new soap opera: The Koffee Klown King, to be sponsored by Kimchi Koffee and Kreepy Krene.

The first girl, accompanied by her agent, is wearing green camouflage hotpants and a skimpy medium green singlet that displays her implants to advantage. The sounds of the latest pop hits are leaking from her modish earphones. Her golden heifer bobble earrings bop along to the tunes. The pert young thing sings in a teen group known as: Golfclub Villa Girlz.

The other girl, whose nose seems to have been sculpted by the same surgeon, is sitting demurely in a white blouse, pleated navy blue skirt and knee length white socks. Her mother, seated next to her, primly holds a French trombone case labelled Juillard and also sports a surgically enhanced nose.

Due to their similar appearance, the TV producer relies on his usual metric to decide between actresses aspiring to star in coffee commercials: a French roast examination.

He calls in the first girl’s agent and explains his dilemma and his demands. The agent quickly says: “My girl is sponsored by KK Donuts and last week she went to a famous golf club, going doggy style multiple times with the CEO of KKD and milking the full eight centimetres of the president of Kimchi Koffee Corporation with her pouty lips.”

The producer calls in the other aspirant’s mother to tell her that the other girl has the right specifications for the role.

The mother calmly informs the producer: “Au contraire, mon petit champignon. There is a fait accompli.”

“Last night my daughter was down on all fours while your company president rogered her from behind and the full eight centimetres of the KKC’s president was gobbled lustily by a younger one of my daughters in your president’s villa, while the rest of the golf club fapped furiously to the live feed of my youngest daughter servicing all the TV critics from famous university media outlets.”

The teenage secretary of the producer has overheard this interchange on the office intercom, he quickly minces into the producer’s office, girlishly flicks back his bangs, places his arms akimbo and mewls: “I have been pwactising Fwench with our company pwesident’s son for the last four months and scwewing the pooches of his lusty fwiends for two! I was pwomised the part!”

The TV producer slumps back in his chair, slaps his forehead and croaks: “Doh!”

A catfight ensues.

The bra ripping and panty tearing is captured on CCTV, stolen by security guards and twenty minutes of video is uploaded onto a website, where it is advertised for sale to over 18s by 3:00 pm.

By 3:30 pm a middle school boy has cracked the code and by midnight the video has been downloaded more times than Golfclub Villa Girlz’ latest youtube hit: “Getting groped by creepy old guys in the golfclub.

Posted by Errol, filed under Economics, finger chopping wacky, Music, Scams. Date: June 15, 2014, 5:41 am | No Comments »

 

Scooter on the sidewalk

Ran over me

The cops just looked

Don’t care ‘bout me

.

They only thinking of a restaurant

that’s got glass tables

They can watch the girls

While they are …ing

.

Scooters on the sidewalks

Cops just can’t stop it

.

Every day all over the country

It’s just like Vietnam

Don’t give a stuff about

the humble pedestrian

.

Only care about themselves

Just a thousand reflections

of their own sweet selves, selves, selves

 

Scooters on the sidewalks

Scooters on the sidewalks

Scooters on the sidewalks

 

Tossing out pamphlets

Of girls sitting on glass tables

Doing things for ajeossi

 

Ajeossi laps it up

And says it’s fun

Gets on the table

Drops his daks

And waves his bum

.

 

Scooter man on the sidewalk, admiring his reflection, in his wing mirror, scooter man …

Posted by Errol, filed under Battle Report, Crime, finger chopping wacky, Funny, Law, Music, Technology. Date: October 2, 2012, 4:36 am | No Comments »

When I pass my TOEIC Test
I’m going to the job that is best
When I have the magic S Line
I’m going to be a waitress in the sky

I’m going to be a waitress in the sky
It’s a job that is so fine
It’s a job with a lot of stress
But I get to wear a cocktail dress

Kim Jung-yoon, Joongang Daily, 29 September 2012

Waitress in the sky

Posted by Errol, filed under K-girls, Music. Date: September 29, 2012, 5:32 am | No Comments »

After Chuseok, prices are gonna tumble down.
After Chuseok, realtors are gonna frown.
Lee Myoung-bak is gonna stimulate some action;
But we’re not gonna get any satisfaction.

JJ Cale and Eric Clapton

Park Won-gap, head of the real estate business department at KB Kookmin Bank.

“Let’s face it, apartments will never be the low-risk, high-reward financial item they were during the housing boom. The nation is too heavily in debt and we simply don’t have enough people willing or able to continue rolling the dice like that.”

Korea Times, 29 August 2012

Posted by Errol, filed under Economics, Music, Scams. Date: August 29, 2012, 7:16 pm | No Comments »

Male rights group Man of Korea has demanded an injunction on the sale of Baek Ji-young’s new song “Good Boy.”

According to the organization yesterday, the group filed for the injunction because the new track “denigrates Korean men.”

“The song contains lyrics that portray a relationship in which a female is older and suggests that her boyfriend is as stupid as a dog and needs to be tamed,” the organization said on its official Web site.

“In one part of the song, the way that the boyfriend talks back is likened to barking and biting the owner. The song denigrates Korean men.”

Carla Sunwoo. Joongang Daily, May 23, 2012

Baek Ji-young is a woman of conviction, her current beau is nine years younger. Woof woof … or should that be: “Down boy!”?

Is Baek’s beau’s answer to Donna Summer’s hit, “Love to lick you baby!”?

Haven’t heard the song yet … but I guess the lyrics are something along those lines.

백지영의 멋진 연하 남자친구 배우 ‘정석원’씨 입니다

백지영의 멋진 연하 남자친구 배우 ‘정석원’씨 입니다

Posted by Errol, filed under Funny, K-girls, Music. Date: May 23, 2012, 5:59 am | No Comments »

23  Dec
Wonder Girls bad?

Seems like a fair few foreign bloggers are up in arms about the Wonder Girls, something to do with them being associated with pedophilia or something. I don’t get that because none of them are actually prepubescent, and a plurality of the members are 18 or over, and the youngest 15 in any case.

I think they are just a lot of fun. Take a look and decide for yourself. You may be asked to download the divX player. Don’t worry it is safe and is nothing to do with ActiveX.

Posted by Matt, filed under Language, Music. Date: December 23, 2007, 7:10 am | 3 Comments »

Here are some singers from Inner Mongolia. They are singing in Mongolian and Chinese. It is a charming song that I came across quite by chance. I asked a Chinese business associate about it today, and he told me that it was quite a hit in China, and a lot of people have the song as their ringtone.

Below is the song as it was sung by the singers live in Yokohama. I actually prefer the video above, but the one below also has Japanese subtitles.

Posted by Matt, filed under Music. Date: October 17, 2007, 8:59 am | 1 Comment »

24  Sep
Anti-war rap

Funny lyrics.

Posted by Matt, filed under Music, Politics. Date: September 24, 2007, 10:54 pm | 2 Comments »

The guy who made the following video does not seem to know the difference between Dokdo and Ulleungdo.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p66rKErsncA

By the way, I wonder if the interpreter in the following video was fired or given a medal?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u78cSaJnsCk

Posted by Gerry-Bevers, filed under Music, Racist Industrial Complex. Date: June 1, 2007, 8:03 pm | No Comments »

21  May
Nice Little Song

Nice Little Song

Are the two girls in the above video the same two girls in the following video that I posted a link to before or has one of them changed?

Link to Second Song

Matt, I think you need to create a “Cute” category. I love this kind of stuff.

Posted by Gerry-Bevers, filed under Music, Uncategorized. Date: May 21, 2007, 5:38 am | 4 Comments »

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