Duc, sequere, aut de via decede!

Oh man… English Conversation Escort

July 31st, 2007 . by Matt

I have posted some funny stuff before, but this is really funny.

Ladies we are pleased to announce that we are now open for business in Central Tokyo.

Ever Wanted Your Own Yes Man? Ladies, it is time to stop wasting your valuable time taking English lessons just for the chance of dating the teacher. Set your goals higher! At My Yes Man English Conversation Male Escort service we put the fun back into your conversing and the excitement back into an evening out on the town. Enjoy your free time with one of our handsome, cool Western gentlemen on a dream date of your making. Our exclusive Yes Man will speak English to you while you are enjoying the finer things in life.

Take him anywhere you like, including the movies, dinner or Disneyland. You can even take him home to meet the parents…. Well maybe not the parents but our guys will say, Yes to almost anything. We will send your Yes Man to meet you at a public bar, hotel lobby, famous restaurant or even your favorite coffee shop! You can have your own Yes Man per hour, per day or even over the weekend. You never have to visit our office because we bring our Yes Man directly to you! So begin your Yes Man Adventure today! You should make reservations from 3 hours to 30 days in advance… And let the excitement begin!

女性私達は私達が中央東京のビジネスのために今開いている発表するために喜ぶ。あなた専有物が人はいほしいと思ったか。女性、それは英国のレッスンを取る教師に日付を記入することのチャンスのあなたの貴重な時間をちょうど無駄にすることを止める時間である。あなたの目的をより高く置きなさい! 私の肯定の人の英国の会話のマレの護衛サービスで私達は町で夕方にあなたの話すこと及び興奮に楽しみを入れた。あなたの作成のdream 日付の私達のハンサムで、涼しい西部の紳士の1 人のあなたの自由な時間を楽しみなさい。私達の独占記事のはい人はあなたに生命のより良い事を楽しんでいる間英語を話す。映画、夕食またはDisneyland を含んで彼をどこでもあなたが好む、取りなさい。親に会うために彼に家を取ることができるか。多分井戸はほとんど何でもにない親しかし私達の人、はい言う。公共棒、ホテルのロビー、有名なレストランまたはあなたの好みの喫茶店で会うために私達はあなたの肯定の人を送る! あなた専有物を1 日につき1 時間につき人、はい有するかまたは週末にわたって均等になることができる。私達があなたに私達の肯定の人を直接連れて来るので決して私達のオフィスを訪問しなければならない! そうあなたの肯定の人の冒険を今日始めなさい! 3 時間からadvance?And の30 日に始まるようにした興奮が予約をするべきである!

What is most funny is that these guys want to get paid for what I guarantee they are willing to do for free. 🙂 I wonder how this would go down in Korea? By the way, be sure to click on the link to check out pictures and video clips of the foreign male escorts. Oh yeah, and the machine translation Japanese sucks bad.

11 Responses to “Oh man… English Conversation Escort”

  1. comment number 1 by: egg

    I wonder how big this market will be.
    It is only my guess but using the systems of host clubs might work better. When consuming an imitation aventure, going to a specific spot will make you feel safer rather than calling someone around your real life.
    I think under this condition, there will be some market in Japan, as there will be women who prefer non-Japanese. It seems there are quite many Korean hosts working in Japan already, according to the Japanese WIKI.

  2. comment number 2 by: randomcow

    Good luck to them. But yeah, the videos were a laugh. This is the “professional” image they want to portray? Even my local kyabakura back in Sapporo at least used to get the girls to a beautician before a photo shoot done by a professional photographer. The site needs to be redone too.


  3. […] [via Occidentalism] […]

  4. comment number 4 by: Durf

    God damn that’s some amazingly bad translation. Babelfish or 6,800-yen boxed software? Who can tell?

  5. comment number 5 by: Slick Willy

    I am no charisma man, but shit….sign me up…lmao

  6. comment number 6 by: Slick Willy

    So yea. What I want to know is the scale for extras. For instance: Is there a sliding scale for Cunnilingus 20yrs-30yrs, 31-40, premium for 40years and above, etc. (Oh, this is a family site isn’t it? Sorry….)

  7. comment number 7 by: randomcow

    dude, this guy here:


    wrote pretty much word-for-word what you wrote. Are you copying him? Or (I suspect) have you been copied?


  8. […] My Yes Man via Occidentalism […]

  9. comment number 9 by: empraptor

    I should sign up for that job if I ever move to Japan. I wonder if one needs a non-Asian face to go with the English-speaking skills?

  10. comment number 10 by: Phil2Musashi

    I wonder if I can do this on a working holiday visa…
    I think I am average looking enough to compete with the rest of those guys! LOL!

  11. comment number 11 by: Ichigobatakekakashi


    No need for Japanese translation. The website says it all!

    Times have changed. And I thought men are supposed to pay for dates!