Occidentalism
Duc, sequere, aut de via decede!

Uh… OK…

December 23rd, 2007 . by Matt

Quite possibly the strongest argument against smoking crack that I have ever seen, via the Korea Dog Trainer – I mean Korea Times.

As I couldn’t sleep last night, I sneaked out of home and went into the woods nearby. In the sleety darkness, the trees were having “The National Trees Convention.” I happened to hear the discussion as I lost the chance to leave without being noticed. It was an hours-long ordeal on my part, but I am glad I was there.

“I can’t take this situation any longer. I hate all the waste people turn my family and friends into,” an oak tree pronounced vehemently the moment the floor was open to participants. The statement made me tense while a ripple of noise filled the air, already thick with the breath of trees. “We must put an end to this situation at all cost,” the oak added.

“Would you tell us what bothers you specifically?” the presiding ginkgo asked in an unruffled voice. It seemed only natural that she was leading the discussion. As a representative of the living fossil family, the ginkgo seemed to know how to remain cool even in a heated atmosphere.

“In autumn which is the moving season, I saw heaps of oak furniture abandoned and mercilessly dismembered in various neighborhoods. Couches, chests, tables and chairs that could still serve their original purposes! These days, trees are increasingly sacrificed for yuletide decorations and election campaigns. Look at the electric wires torturing our friends and the waste of paper for posters and leaflets.” the oak said bitterly.

“We maples have a harsh time, too. As you are aware, we are hard and beautiful. That’s why we make bowling pins, butcher’s blocks, and ornaments. We also make good guitars, drums and bassoons as we carry sound waves well. However, our family is rapidly dwindling as we can’t live in acid soil and as we are wasted by humans,” a maple whined.

Whip out a dookie and read the rest on your own. Cheers to MP for the link.


One Response to “Uh… OK…”

  1. comment number 1 by: camphortree

    My friends, when the wind blows from the Yellow Sea we must take a stand and try to clean up the foul air. Somewhere over the Yellow Dust the Sun is shining.
    Merry Christmas to all of my friends!